you just can't see stuff.

ok. first thing i gotta say is as a human being you can't see the shit on your back but you can see other peoples'. so yea thats the big problem were all having now. being able to see the shit on other people's back, analyze it and talk bad about it. yeah so go on. talk about other people's shit like they are all at fault and you're the only innocent one. that one day shall come where you will realize that your back is just full of shit as everyone's back. so yea. enjoy doing it while you still can. and realize your mistake one day and you better hope you're not too late.

*yes this post is meant for someone. go figure.

yup yup anyways enjoying life just as it is. got better stuff to do than think about all these nonsense. played tennis with amir today. it was a great story of finding and losing balls during tennis today. but anyways we've met our toughest opponent so far. THE WALL. yes. and we shall get ourselves determined to beat it the next time (i hope). that's all for now.

*a random picture of the highest quality. we look like a couple of idiots for a poster for a movie or something. hehe.

2 days of fun

well this recent two days have been really fun.
lets start on wednesday(21.03.2007)
ok. i was really looking forward to going to school on wednesday. there was only one reason. no, make that two. firstly, razman told me the day before that his results for samadian idol was going to be announced. BIG DEAL la. we all knew the results beforehand and he knew he didn't get through. but nevertheless i'll still go there to support him. but the best part of the day was yet to come. so this was it i thought. at 9 a.m. some of us were supposed to skip class until the end of the day. so yea. went to class. 9 o'clock came. went out of class n headed for the library supposedly to train some form 1 kids to do their drama for the competition the next day. reached the library. stoned for a while. bad mistake. my english teacher came to me and was like "razreen would u want to join today's Taylor's College debate?". one word teacher. "nope". n then sridhar tried to tempt me with "if u join you'll get certificates and if u win u can get money and scholarship". well. as usual i lost to temptations. so i said. "fine i'll join". bad mistake. spent hte next 4 hours in the library trying to come up with what to say in the debate. after 4 hours of ver hard thinking we pulled it through. so at around 1.40 p.m. we stepped into the teacher's car and marched on towards our death. ok maybe not. toward the frikking debate. so basically everyone was panicking in the car. got not enough points, no reply speech, etc. etc. after around 15 minutes we finally reached the school. SMK Damansara Jaya. my first time debating professionally. why not i thought to myself. so we walked up the stairs and into the debate room. i remembered quite clearly how razman was very confident about us winning the thing. razman's words was:
"dont worry. those girls look like shit. and there's another fat guy inside the room. surely can win la"
yea. so after 1 hour or so of debating the results came out. and guess what. we lost. yea thanks a lot razman. haha. but anyways we got very good compliments especially for kubhie. and the teachers said i did quite well for a 4-hour preparation. so i felt quite happy. after debate cik anita dropped us at the MPPJ hockey stadium. just followed sridhar to watch him play some hockey. yea our school weren't that good that day. we lost to a team we were supposed to be whacking 6-0 or 5-0. but scoreline showed everything. we lost. 0-1. damn that sucked. anyways after that just went home, watched t.v. and slept. was too tired to do anything else.


yea and that was just day1.
second day.
thursday (22.03.2007)
yea today was quite eventful but not as eventful as the first day. firstly, i woke up late today. we were supposed to be at school by 7.15. guess what time i woke up. 8.00. oh yea we were supposed to go to school early because of some drama competition in SMK Taman Sea. i wasn't really involved with it. just helped directed some of the stuff. that's all. but teacher asked me to come so i couldn't really say no. so i woke up knowing i was late and got ready to go. took an lrt and then had to walk to the school. i made it in time i guess. i missed the first performance and came in the middle of the second. so after waiting for sometime it was finally our turn. oh yea by the way our drama was based on the short story "the pencil". im sure most of you have read this before. ok the drama went quite well. we were a bit unorganized backstage but i guess we pulled through so it was good. we didn't win though. the judges simply told us how we could improve ourselves for next year. or in years to come. but whatever it is, i'm still very proud of our form 1s. they worked very hard towards the end and they did quite well. did nothing much after that really. teacher gave us a ride to KFC so we had our lunch there. after that went to school to play football. that was quite fun. i scored a number of goals but i wasn't too proud of it. the opponent was tired and wasn't playing properly so we took advantage of that. after football went for bio tuition. after tution our bio teacher Pn. Pathma showed us her granddaughter. she was sleeping so we really couldn't do anything much. but it was quite amazing looking at a baby around 2 weeks old. innocent and not influenced by the world yet. went home after that. slept for a while. woke up around 7.30 to get ready for chemistry tuition. went for chemistry tuition late though. around 15 minutes late. didn't make much difference also cause mr. Rao haven't even started teaching. yup. so went into class, sat down and basically stoned for the next 1 hour and 15 minutes. after tuition quickly went down and walked towards the mamak near tuition. met my mum n sis there. sis was back from segamat for a few days so i was kinda excited to meet her. after paying for food, went to watsons to buy some stuff and then headed home. did nothing at home. just watched a lil bit of t.v. n went to sleep. it's been a couple of days sice i did my add maths. gotta start again one of these days. so yea there it was the two kinda eventful days in the week.

IM OK!!

haha yea after some time i can finally say that i am ok. it took me quite some time to come back to my senses but i managed to do so. so i ampleased to say im back. yup yup the old razz is back. no actually not the old razz. its a bit of the new and a bit of the old so its all good. i know the some of the past posts seemed a little depressing and stuff but i can say that i went through it already. yup yup. i'm back.

Dazed N Confused?

haha ok the reason i wanted to post this particular blog is basically said out in the title. well things haven't been going particularly well nowadays. damn. i feel like a bundle of confusion right now. everything doesn't seem right anymore. i thought i could control my life better last time but now everything is getting out of hand. jeez if only i could sleep all of these things off. that would really help. but yea anyways i just feel really crappy right now. maybe im just thinking too much. damn it, it would really help if i had someone to listen to me right now and not just judge me. aaaaaargggh. crap. i need to scream. i don't know la. maybe all i need is just a little walk. yea can't wait to do that on thursday. it sucks to be alone. anyways thanks for the comments vid. those two comments will probably be the only ones i'll ever get. haha.

chemistry or no chemistry

ok. chemistry. im sure you've heard about it before. its when two people think they got so much in common that they actually have chemistry. or they'll use the term "the chemistry is there". im not really sure how true this is because usually when two people like each other there will be chemistry whether you like it or not. i mean that is all there is to it. i dont think chemistry is something that comes naturally. its either you like the person or not. when you do you'll say there's chemistry and if you don't you'll say there's none. so basically chemistry is all just in the head and there can be no such thing as "we don't have any chemistry anymore" really. yup that's all for now. gotta go play football manager now.......

-razz-

mukhsin mukhsin

yup ok. mukhsin is the title of a malay movie that i watched the other day. seriously i didnt even know there was such a movie out until my mum n sister asked me to go get the tickets for the show. i didnt really care about the show i just felt like watching a movie at the time so i just went for it. ok basically the movie is about a guy called mukhsin who had a friend called orked. they sort of like had a thing for a while. there's a part in the movie that was quite interesting. it was near the ending of the story where mukhsin sort of made a mistake so he fought with orked. after that whole big fight she didnt talk nto him at alland completely ignored him. not to say he didnt try to patch things up but everytime he does she just ignored him. so then one day mukhsin came around to orked's house. again at the doorstep he stood calling out to orked that just wont seem to answer him. so finally he told her that he was leaving with his father back to his hometown and asked her to come out just to say goodbye. again she did not answer his call so the only thing that he could do was to walkaway. but before doing that he left her a message asking her to read something he wrote at the tail of the kite that he gave to her once. she read the message after he left. they didnt say wat was in the message but as soon as she read it she rushed to mukhsin's house only to find him gone. as far as mukhsin was concerned orked still hasn't forgiven him for wat happened. so in the end he left and they did not see each other again. at all. so basically the point here is that the guy, Mukhsin made a mistake and he wasn't forgiven about it at all. so he was punished forever for that one mistake he did. so yea that was the quite intersting part of the story. there was a nice poem in the end though. i can really remember what it was but it was something like this.

"everyone has a first love story to tell,
this is mine,
eventhough i did not get to see him at all anymore,
i got a second chance.
Love is kind,
He gives everyone second chances.
i found mine,
i hope he does too."

or something like that. i remembered some of it so i just filled the gaps with my own words. so yea i guess we'll have to take orked's words for it. love is kind and that he gives everyone second chances. haha. lets hope so.

T2M

ok. T2M. this basically comes from the malay phrase "talam dua muka" so in order to shorten it i'll just put it as T2M. yea so the reason im writing this particular blog is about some T2Ms i got walking around me. not some la maybe just a couple of them or something. its really irritating me about how some people can act so nice to you in front of you and just turn into a monster behind your back. i mean its just amazing how people can change so much. just when u think u have a good friend whom u can trust and value they start turning their backs against you. i dont know la. im really confused about all this shit right now so i hope time will help solve everything. well if not everything then maybe partially of everything. but seriously all i can say now is that i dont need these people in my life anymore. y'all are nothing but a liability to me. pieces of pebbles in my shoes that do nothing but give me trouble. im sorry if it sounds harsh or anything but this is exactly how i feel. but whatever it is i really have to thank these T2Ms because u guys have helped me open my eyes n taught me not to just trust anyone. so thanks. yup dats about it i guess. T2Ms. dont need any of those.

MY First Blog!

ok... well i dont really know how to start this but yea this is my first ever blog. its nothing much really i just wanted a place where i can be able to put down all my thoughts into words so rather than starting a diary i decided to start blogging. cause u noe i hate writing so i thought typing would be so much better. so yea i'll try to post as much as i can. so thats all for now i guess.